homegrown coffee table

Timoth and I were on the hunt for an affordable/non hideous coffee table for what felt like centuries.  Scouring the posts on Craigslist for weeks (days) on end, I was literally repulsed by the hideous bullshit coffee tables some people own. The only consolation was the fact that they had finally come to their senses and decided to rid themselves of the tragic narstfulness that is (for example):

(image via here)

But how DARE you try to sell shit like this for upwards of $100! The nerve. But I digress.

At one point we had the relatively shitty IKEA Lack coffee table, and then somewhere along the way we lost it or sold it or gave it away and were living with just a small shitty IKEA Lack side table as a coffee table. And an 84″ couch. So, it was dire. While on the hunt one day around Portland’s various overpriced hipster vintage stores, we decided to check out the Rebuilding Center on Mississppi Ave. to see if there were any bits we could piece together to make a table.  Well, the Rebuilding Center is one of the greatest places on earth, and when we stumbled across the ol’ windows section, we decided it would be fun to fashion a coffee table out of a large window pane. So we bought it, for $2, and went to Home Depot to get some legs.

Unfortunately, being the lazy and forgetful 20-somethings that we are, we did not measure our old coffee table’s height, nor the height of our couch, and so we had no idea what length table legs to buy. It also never crossed our minds to go measure the legs of coffee tables that they were most likely selling elsewhere in the store.  So we splurged for the longer legs for $7 a pop, knowing that we could saw them down if they were too long.  Long story short, Tim had to take multiple trips back to Home Depot to use their community hand saw to shorten the legs some more and some more and some more until they were the right height: a mere 1/2 inch longer than the $4 legs we originally poo-pooed for being too short. Poor Timoth.  He was practically stripped down to his skivvies in Home Depot from all the sawing-induced sweat.  But alas, we had our legs and our window and we were ready to make a table. We had also bought some cherry stain, and a set of straight top plates.

First, I stained the legs.

Tim attached two of the straight top plates to the bottom of the window frame and the legs screwed right in. So easy.  But sadly, the plates were too wide for the other edge of the window frame and we decided not to use them because we didn’t want them to be visible.

So instead, we drilled straight into the frame, poured in a little gorilla glue, and screwed in the legs.

Then we put on some heaviness while the glue dried.  Janky, yes, but it worked.

And there you have it. A new coffee table.

While I admit it may be too DIY for the tastes of some, I love it. So back off.

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